In the course of unpacking you tend to come across a plethora of items you forgot you had. In my case I was unpacking the items for my desk. It’s a lovely executive three piece corner desk that was too big to place in our old house. I had placed my psychology books away, along with my wonderful copy of A Savage Garden and came across my coasters.
I bought these coasters on a trip to Rhodes, Greece back in 2009. I’ve used them tons of times and thought nothing of it. I had even sent my mother a set in full color; mine being in black and gold.
However, I had made a single mistake; I forgot how old my son is.
When I bought these coasters he was 3 and he didn’t understand them. Now, however, he’s 9 and has questions. I placed my coasters on my desk and used them. Then my son came along.
“Hm? What’s what?” I was distracted making my mom’s birthday present.
“Those!” he replied clearly disgusted as he pointed at the stack of coasters on my desk.
I blinked and blinked again, thinking. How do I respond? “It’s sex,” I finally blurted out.
“Sex?” He continued to look horrified.
I had a stroke of genius! “Yes, sex. It’s something only adults should do. And if anyone every tries to do what’s on that coaster to you before you’re 18 you need to tell me or your daddy right away.”
Okay, so he’ll figure out eventually you can do it before 18 but I’m hopeful. I don’t want to be a grandmother while still in my 30’s!
“Because you’re a kid and kids can’t have sex without it hurting them. If someone did that to you you’d need to go to the doctor. So even if they told you not to tell you’d have to tell us so we can take you to the doctor to make sure you’re okay.”
“Okay… but can you turn them over I don’t want to look at them. It’s nasty,” he asks while waving a hand as if he was trying to waft a particularly pungent scent away from himself.
“How about unless I’m using it I flip them over?”
And the coasters in question? Each coaster involves a different sexual position ranging from 2-3 people. Honestly they’re tasteful… at least I think so.